Finally, after like a few years of no actual swearing, I finally did today. and I swore hard! With all my soul I did, every single thing that pissed me of I would say, like, tonnes of endless swears.
It doesn't feel good though, because deep inside you know you've lost.
I don't know what has got into me, but I am losing my ability to stay positive. It is tiring! Felt like finally I gave up and there's nothing in this world could ever motivate me again.
What was my motivation? I mean, for everything that I do, what was my motivation to pursue it, to continue through the day. most importantly, to live.
Faith. yeah, definitely. But it only helps me not to commit suicide, for it is an unforgivable sin I'd be sent straight to hell if I did.
There must be something else.
Somehow I am losing it now and it's hard for me to rebound.
What is your motivation?